You came.

An overture of nothingness.

You've touched me with your warmth and gentleness.

I was in awe.

Bewitched by your possessed comforting vision and stunned by your tenacious but restful complexion.

And then, time briskly drifted by..

We talked a bit about momentum, physics,

so much about movies, characters, plots and lines exchanged.

We even talked about religion, faith, and beliefs.

Diet habits, protein shake and song lyrics.

We shared commonalities and distinctiveness,

dreamed to become strong, stout, gentle but dauntless.

And in between our little-spaced moments, subconsciously, you've awaken my sleepy laying soul

"you are good among all the goods!", you always say.

"Slay 'em down! make 'em roll!"

You uncovered the sheath that covers my confidence and shed purpose to my growing esteem.

Lowering my head no more,

slouching seemed to be undoable,

and been an eagle, flips its wings and soar??

I appeared to be the best of me! Inconceivable!!

But everytime I look straight at you,

at your heart-dropping eyes,

I see pain.

Pain and hesitation mirroring mine.

Because we know, from the very depth of our four-chambered 24/7 active hearts.. we can never be.

Not because we are in doubt of what we felt,

Not because we are unsure of the spewing fire, scorching our already scorched feelings,

Not because of my need of letting you go and you not staying,

but because it's not right.

And even after God descends from heaven, it will stay as it is.

So even when I want to hold you close, or closer, or closest or with no space at all..

Even when I give my world, my soul, my life and all.. This is our fate.

We are destined to be immobile as we are.

We are fortuned to be chained by the mere existence of our reality that even if we fight for what we have, it is without a doubt, a losing battle.

So now, I'll hold my breathless breath, close my pain-drenching eyes, and slowly let go of the candles of your rough but suave hands.

And when "goodbye" finally rolls out from my now lifeless tongue,

I want to let you know that this "goodbye" is the most beautiful "goodbye" ever said..

because it is with no one but you,

I am uttering this word to..

-JJSO