Friendship is a heavy commitment wherein expectations and assumptions are highly necessary, anticipated and acknowledged.
But just last Monday,

I could say that I have been the worst friend alive. I have been less selfless, which is unusual to me. So if I would become Beatrice for a short moment, I couldn't belong, certainly, in Abnegation. Although I've been selfless all my life, I'm just not enough. I couldn't be an Erudite either, because I barely recognized the knowledge of having a friend just sitting an inch away from me. With queasy hand that almost unable to write, worsen by her eyes, clouded by always-dilated-pupils. And her face. Oh her face.. 'Twas so terrified that it makes me feel the same. So maybe, I could be a Candor. Too honest to preach all of these. Too honest to write everything that I felt in the moment. I could be a Dauntless too, I surely made a dam of courage to send her a message of apology this morning. Stating how sorry I am but I know that those words are not sorry enough. That I am not sorry enough. And surely, I couldn't be an Amity. I would be factionless if I tried to join them. Initiation will beat me fast. Now, one thing that I've realized most is not that I'm divergent (though I think I am---having two results is inconclusive. hmm), but to become a bad friend is not to become a friend at all. Or you shouldn't even try.





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