Numerous times...

My arms want to slither themselves around you like a famished anaconda feeding to its prey.

My feet don't mind the million miles it need to run just to be with you, but it lost its consciousness when you chose to turn away.

My heart pounds so tranquilly silent, and its unfamiliarity seemed to be a fantasy. But now, it doesn't know how to beat anymore.

My mind was like a keeper of thoughts and photographs of you, it almost hanged so it deleted it all.

My words were sliding themselves down my tongue only to be deterred by my rational mouth.

My ears ache to hear your melodic, bass-voice again but it only hears nothing but the echo of its pain.

My fingers longed to glide themselves in your unshaven yet gentle crust, the agony almost swallowed them whole.

My knees missed so much of our morning wanderings, it almost trekked by itself.

My eyes were a falls of unrestrained sadness, it almost flooded the whole universe.

But no matter how persistent they are, I cannot allow them.
I cannot allow myself to miss you, hug you and love you and ending up being refused all over again.

Because pain became so much more bearable when I accepted the thought of losing you.
It became so much more bearable when I accepted that you're soul is meant for another's.

It wasn't an easy process, but the length of it healed me and I couldn't be more thankful enough.

So let me not be savage, let me not love you. Let me not be hurt.